Here’s a question for you? Answer it honestly. Do you have a brother that you can talk to about life? A brother (a male friend) who is available to listen, give thought and speak to your personal challenges and experiences and provide you a healthy dose of encouragement or even a good kick in the pants when you need it? If your answer to this question is “No!”, I wouldn’t be surprised. You see, statistics tell us and it’s been my own experience that although men can talk about sports, cars and other typical male bonding conversations, very rarely do we talk to each other about our own life and the struggles we have day-to-day. Why is this? Why is it so difficult to open up to another brother and have conversations about life, family, our children, our work, our thoughts, our dreams, our ambitions, our struggles, our fears, our disappointments and our victories?
You see men have an ego, pride, machismo and competitive complex preventing us from developing strong, healthy and beneficial relationships. We think being a man is all about blazing a trail on our own, taking on the worlds problems and finding solutions ourselves. We get so caught up in what others may think and say that we end up doing more damage than good simply because we are unwilling and/or don’t know how to ask for help. Our western society (specifically) raises men to be the Lone Ranger. What happened to tackling life’s problems in tandem with another brother who can complement your strengths, help you navigate through life’s journey and help you achieve more?
I was born in the mid 70’s and I remember shows like Batman and Robin, Starsky and Hutch, Laverne and Shirley, Crocket and Tubbs, Fred and Barney, Sanford and Son, Laural and Hardy, Kirk and Spock, Rocky and Apollo Creed. What happened to the concept of building strength by numbers and having a brother – a partner, help you get through challenging times. Sometimes, we just need someone to talk to and hear us out. But we don’t do this for one another.
Pride is the culprit of why we struggle to open up and communicate. Pride is such a stronghold in our life that we would rather struggle through the maze of mediocrity and run the streets of self-sufficiency, rather than pick up the phone or send an email and ask for help. Pride produces weeds in our life and it strangles our mind and our hearts. Cutting off the supply of inspiration, guidance, direction and companionship. The root of pride is fear. We men fear much in life. We may not own up to this, and many of you will deny this, but I know what’s really going on and if you’re honest with yourself – so do you.
So why do I say that the root of pride is fear? Pride blinds us to the real issues of our heart. Pride is a cover-up, a mask to the things in our life we are unsure about. Pride is the manifestation of the deep issues we have yet to master in our life. Some of these issues are the deep need for accomplishment, the deep need to control life’s situations or people, or the deep need to prove oneself because of an inferiority complex that has been lingering with you since you were a child. It could be a number of issues causing you to represent in a prideful way.
Pride seeks to impress. Pride seeks to exaggerate. Pride covers up weaknesses, Pride doesn’t tell the whole truth. Pride elevates.
No man, no matter who you are, how young or old you are, if you are going to make lasting change in your life, you always have to get to the root of the issue.
Do you think you’re the only one whose ever gone through what you’re going through now? Do you really think that no one can help you through the challenges and difficulties you are going through with your wife, children, work, temptations, dreams, ambitions, frustrations, spiritual life, etc? You do not have to go through life alone.
Proverbs 17:17 says “A friend loves at all times, and a brother is born for adversity.” In other words, the pilgrimage of your life – although may be filled with ups and downs, a brother is there to help you in your time of need. If we as men understood that life is meant to be a shared experience to support one another, imagine how amazing our lives would be because we don’t have to carry the load ourselves. 1st Peter 5:7 says “Cast all your cares on the Lord, because He cares for you and Proverbs 18:24 says there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother. This friend is Jesus Christ. Think about it and believe it. Jesus Christ has your best interest in mind and He cares for you deeply that He not wants you to win in life, but He has ordained specific men to lift you up in your time of need. How awesome is that.