I want to talk about the 6 common problems men often face preventing themselves from being leaders at home and work. As a man, I believe each of us were called to be leaders in our home and in the workplace. Home and work is where we spend 90% of our time day-to-day, and therefore developing the capacity to lead and lead well is critical not only for our need to contribute, but also to make a difference in the lives and well-being of others.
Problem #1 Clarity
Clarity is so important. Why? Because without clarity you can’t pinpoint your destination. Clarity is like your internal GPS. It’s important to have a sense of who you are and what you want to accomplish and where you want to go with your passions, your ideas and your thoughts on a day-to-day basis. Clarity allows you to see your future although you are living in the present. It allows you to begin looking at your life in a way which you can foresee the results of your planning. Clarity is the piece that every man needs in his life. Clarity is vision for your life. Clarity in your business. Clarity in your decision-making. Clarity in choosing a vocation or changing a vocation. Clarity in choosing a spouse. Clarity in making large purchases. Whatever it may be, clarity is MUST in your life. I work with many individuals and organizations that lack this attribute in their personal or organizational mission and the advice I give them is really simple, AND IT’S THAT it’s extremely difficult to accomplish anything unless you know what you want and you have a plan on how you are going to achieve it. It’s like the old adage that says, “aim at nothing and you will hit it every time.” You don’t want your life to be a fluttering existence or live life without purpose, without a reason, without clarity, SO THEREFORE, be clear about what you want to accomplish and make strategic moves to get there.
Problem #2 Strategy
You must have a strategy for your life. If you run a business, you must have a strategy for your business. I don’t know why we as men think that we shouldn’t have a strategy for our life, but we should. A strategy keeps you focused and it allows you to create a plan of action for your life. Most men tend to focus on long term goals rather than short term goals, but it’s the daily commitment and attention to detail that wins out. It’s the one-step-at-a-time approach that works best in reaching both short term and long term goals. Creating a strategy and sitting with it for a while also gives you the opportunity to test your ideas which give you the flexibility to make adjustments in your plan carefully and confidently. So what can you do today to strategize the next big thing in your life? What is it that you want to accomplish and how are you going to accomplish it? You need to have a strategy. As a basketball and football coach, I work with strategy all the time. I know my line-up, I know the skill set and the talent each individual brings to the team and I put the players in situations where they can thrive, where they can succeed and as a team we can ultimately win. Shouldn’t we apply these same principles, applications and strategies in our own life? Don’t you want to win in life? Isn’t it important to see and know exactly what you need to do in order to have a positive outcome in your life? Strategy makes all the difference and it’s important for you to understand this (especially you young men) because I want you to have success. Strategy is so important.
Problem #3 Permission
This is important to understand. We need to be able to give ourselves permission to do the things we know we are gifted to do – what we are purposed to do. Think about this. How many of us men are doing things in our life and career we’re not gifted to do, don’t have the aptitude for or doesn’t bring a level of personal satisfaction or fulfillment, BUT INSTEAD we are doing things that someone else told us do. You need to give yourself permission to do your thing. I know personally for me AND for many years, I believed that I needed someone else to give me permission or “approve” my gifts and talents and validate what I should pursue for my career or do in my life. For me, my desire was to design, speak, coach and teach. HEAR ME ON THIS, whatever gift you’ve been blessed with this is the gift you should be using. It wasn’t until after hitting my head on the wall a few times that I finally realized I didn’t need someone to tell me or authenticate the gifts and talents I have – I should know this myself by recognizing my own skills and testing my own abilities. So why is it that we give other people permission or jurisdiction over our life? Why do we give people permission to tell us where we belong and what we do best? It’s because we do not know ourselves. Truly, we haven’t taken the time to self-reflect or carve out personal growth time to examine our own life. I don’t think people necessarily know what’s best for us – they may be able to judge our performance, but deep down within us we know what we are suppose to be doing. Give yourself permission to become great. Give yourself permission to make amazing things happen in your life and in the lives of others. Give yourself permission to think big. Come outside of your comfort zone. Give yourself permission to grow into the awesome young man and adult man of greatness – become a person of influence, a person of leadership that you know you can become and that you will become. Why? Because you are great and have a purpose for your life. Give yourself permission TODAY to make a difference and begin taking action on it immediately. Make it happen for your life. You expressing the best you is what the world needs. We don’t need anymore copycats, duplicates or factory junkies that look the same, think the same and perform the same. Give yourself permission.
Problem #4 Fear
Fear is a HUGE problem. You and I live in a world where fear is present every day and we must find a way to deal with it. Fear cripples the world. Fear has crippled you my man from accomplishing your goals – whatever they may be (big or small), fear has a stronghold on your life. But I’m telling you right now NO MORE!. Tackle fear to the ground. If it’s fear of failure – acknowledge it and understand where it comes from, but also understand that failure is part of the process that is needed for you to accomplish the greatness that lives inside you. Hands down! For most men, without fear, what is going to propel you to move forward and make change? For many of us men, fear is the roadblock between success and failure. I once heard a unique acronym of the word fear which said “fear is false evidence appearing real”. Wow! How powerful is that? You know what’s even more powerful, “Faith”. Faith is the opposite of fear. Faith is the confidence that what you hope for WILL come to pass. It’s the assurance and belief in someone or something even though its not tangible now. In short, faith is belief developed and nurtured in your mind and heart.
Some men are also afraid of success. They are fearful of success because they don’t have a plan or a strategy to manage their success or build upon their successes, and therefore decide to play it safe and not pursue life with a clear understanding, responsibility and ownership of their purpose. How many men do you know who have accumulated great wealth and have affluence in their life but end up losing it all because they didn’t know how to deal with their success. From this point forward, I want you to deal with fear in the most powerfully way possible. How do you do that? You do it anyway. You face fear head on. You move forward in the midst of fear. You do it by being strong and courageous. Joshua 1:9 says “This is My command – be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid or discouraged. For the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” Wow! Sounds like we have a guarantee that God is with us. And understand this, when you are being obedient to what God has commissioned you to do – He will see fit that what you put your hands to becomes successful.
So do you want to know my fear? Do you want to know what I’m afraid of? Here is what I’m most afraid of. I’m afraid of not reaching my potential. I’m afraid of not using all the God-given gifts given to me. I’m afraid of not experiencing life to the fullest. I’m afraid of settling for less. I’m afraid of not having enough vision and faith in my life to pursue what God has already put into my heart. I’m afraid of dreams unfulfilled. What are you afraid of?
Problem #5 Focus
You must have focus for your life. Focus – laser beam focus. When an eagle comes down and scopes out its next meal miles away, side distractions are eliminated and its commitment to capture its meal for himself or for his eaglets becomes priority. To be able to accomplish greatness and fulfill your goals and dreams – you must not allow other areas of your life that are not going to complement (or work in tandem) to overwhelmingly impede or distract you. It’s okay to let the non-important things and non-productive things of your life go. It’s okay to re-prioritize your time and resources. You can’t do everything and you for sure can’t be everything to everybody. I know the culture of our society expects us to give and give more, but you need to focus in the areas of your life that you are gifted in and have vision for. The areas of your life that you know you can tackle, manage and be effective and allow other people that you trust to be your support system. Success is achieved when you have the time to do what you need to do. Most of the time, we have to carve out time and be intentional about it. I have learned that even though we all have the same 24 hours each day – it’s how we spend our time that makes the difference in our life. Anything ever achieved in this world is because someone had focus. You deserve to achieve awesome things in your life. Your ability to focus is a gift to the world and you will ever be appreciated for it.
Problem #6 Commitment
You must be committed daily to the tasks you have. Commitment is not a word that is often used in today’s society and it’s very disheartening, but commitment is an excellent and necessary virtue if you ever hope to achieve anything great in your life. Commitment is a choice and it’s a daily decision. Commitment requires action and your ability to be disciplined over your goals over a period of time is what truly sets you apart from men who speak a good game from men who REALLY DO have a good game. I encourage you to be a man who has great game.
Today, I’ve given you insight into the 6 problem areas preventing men from being leaders at home and work. If you can just learn how to be competent in these 6 areas, you will catapult your life to another dimension.